it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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