there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
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I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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