I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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