guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
