Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
