No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
