I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
