Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
