New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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