Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
