3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
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He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
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Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize