Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
