Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
