When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
