My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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