he was CRYING into my vagina
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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