It's Friday. Sex?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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