trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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