we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize