i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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