our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
