Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
