Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
