you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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