Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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