Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
