I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
