Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Randomize
