I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
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he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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