Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
