It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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