either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you will always have a special place in my vag
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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