something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My vagina is officially offended.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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