someone get that fucking seahorse.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Are we still banned from the library?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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