i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
