You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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