We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
