Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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