oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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