I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
