just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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