1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
