I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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