He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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