STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Randomize
