he told me I talked like a deaf person
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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