just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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