oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
it was like eating out sand paper
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize