Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
