I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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