Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
