dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
