To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
