HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
