u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
