After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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