Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
