the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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