I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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