I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
