Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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