We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
