I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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