A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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