Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
