Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize