Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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